Kink has long been wrapped in leather and mystery. And though we are as a culture making some headway into portraying kink somewhat more accurately than it might have been in the past (we're looking at you, Babygirl and Billions).

Still, 50 shades of bad stereotypes remain and most of what people think they know about kink is wildly off.

Today, we’re unpacking the biggest myths that hold people back from exploring their fantasies. Ready? Let’s get nerdy.

Myth #1: Kink has to hurt

Reality: Pain is not a requirement. In fact, many people explore BDSM with zero pain involved.

Kink is a buffet. Some people like spice, others are just here for the ambiance. You can experience power dynamics, bondage, or objectification in completely sensual, pain-free ways. What matters is how it makes you feel, not whether it leaves a mark. And we're not even going to get into how when endorphins get involved, the line between pleasure and pain gets real blurry... 

Curious but cautious? That’s literally our whole reason for existing.

Myth #2: You're not kinky

Reality: Kinky fantasies are nearly universal. According to research from Dr. Justin Lehmiller at the Kinsey Institute, 98% of people report having kinky fantasies. So, odds are, you do, too.

You don’t need to be strapped to a St-Andrews cross in a basement. You can be a working mom in pajamas who wants to feel worshipped. There’s no “type,” just preferences. And preferences evolve when they feel safe to explore.

Myth #3: Kink happens in dungeons

Reality: It happens in suburban bedrooms on Tuesday nights, usually after the dishwasher’s been loaded.

Kink doesn’t require a vibe. It creates one. And if you live in Canada, you already know: winter is long. You might as well make it interesting. You need curiosity, a little privacy, and a playlist that doesn’t shuffle into Coldplay.

Myth #4: Kink is just props and costumes

Reality: The gear might set the scene, but the real action is emotional.

Yes, we feel like beautiful objects can really set a scene and give a sense of occasion. But a collar means nothing without trust. A paddle is just leather until it invites you to ask, “Do you like this?”

The tools matter. But only because they unlock something deeper. Connection. Communication. Intensity.

Myth #5: You have to know what you want before you start

Reality: Most people don’t. That’s why we explore.

One of the biggest barriers to trying kink is the fear of “doing it wrong.” But here’s the thing - there is no right. There’s just communication, creativity, and a sense of play. Then you work it out as you go. Or you put a blindfold on them so they can't see you're fumbling around.

TL;DR:

You don’t need to be extreme.
You don’t need to be experienced.
You just need to be interested.
And if you’ve read this far?
You probably are.

P.S. Your box is waiting. It’s filled with two gorgeous pieces of gear, a custom playlist, and Ember Cards to guide the play. Designed by experts. Delivered monthly. Always a surprise.

Subscribe now. Your fantasies are more normal than you think.